Tony Gallagher Temper Tantrum Tour hits Tampa

"Lightning deal conspicuously fast"

A popular former Canuck bolts somewhere else for a lot of money, therefore tampering MUST have been involved.  Because really, everybody would rather be a Canuck.

For those of you that don't know who Tony Gallagher is, and be thankful that you don't, he's Vancouver's village idiot, and a guy whom even Vancouver hockey fans have trouble tolerating.  His "The NHL hates Vancouver" tour came to Tampa today, as he wonders just how Mattias Ohlund, clearly a Canuck for life, could sign with Tampa, and sign so fast? 

After all, Tampa is a perpetual revenue sharing recipient, and sells its tickets at $10 a pop!  Oh yes, your favourite stereotypes fly fast and furious in this one.  Oh, hey!  Did you know a lot of retirees live in Tampa?  Thanks Tony! Now I know where to move in 35 years!

Maybe Gallagher has a point.  Maybe there was tampering involved.  Or, maybe, the two sides just said "years, dollars, agreed" and did the final paperwork shortly after.  As to Tony's question about why anyone would want to play in Tampa, it might have something to do with the fact the Lightning have had more success in 15 years in the NHL than the Canucks have in 40?  After all, if you are looking for success, the left coast of Canada is about as far from it as you can get.

While he tries, I can only give Gallagher's performance in this piece 2 red lights out of seven (the Luongo Scale), as this episode of "Everyone Hates Vancouver" fell far short of last week's episode in which he actually argued that Vancouver Canuck fans were paying both for the Coyotes to take on a player (shock!) and for Calgary to sign Bouwmeester. 

Stay tuned for next week's tour stop.  Who will he take aim at next?  Atlanta?  Nashville?  Los Angeles?  Who knows!