The team in Tampa was failing
And Tocchet was moaning and wailing
Stamkos kept scoring, the defense kept snoring
And the fans were unsurprisingly bailing

The playoffs are right round the bend
And losing is Tampa’s one trend
Besides injuries thick
And Stammers scoring-streak trick
Bolts never can tie up loose ends

The playoff hopes are crashing
Both goalies in the press get a bashing
Defense is slack
Puck stops we lack
And his teeth Jeff Vinik is gnashing

Jim Johnson was called up by Lawton
To teach the Bolts to kill penalties more often
It made Rick Tocchet sick
“Waltz got the short end of the stick!”
And banished Johnson to the press box, “Verboten!”

Bay fans only look for the skinny
on Stammers and Downie and Vinny
but the Bolts cannot win
though they try yet again
so sad fans all relocate to new guinea

Ohlund is making a chump
Out of everyone that he thumps
With a smash and a crash
He’s having a blast
With a check and a boom and a bang!

my favorite rookie was james wright
he played for the bolt every night
but he rarely did score
so they told him no more
but with giants he’s a proven delight!

Some fool will be stealing these lines
Because they like what they read in our rhymes
Creatives abound
But the ‘Net is unsound
Plagiarized, as if rules don’t apply

Stamkos’ streak stopped at eighteen games
We don’t know just what is to blame
He put up no points,
Though a win for the boys,
A victory to send off the day

There once was a kid from Markham
Whose dream was to rule a Kingdom
Took up hockey instead
His fame was widespread
And whose biggest fan was always his mum!