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The Lightning-Bruins Drinking Game


As you may have heard, the Tampa Bay Lightning are doing quite well in the playoffs this year, and as a result, closet and fairweather fans from around the continent will be coming out to watch the Eastern Conference Finals in their local watering holes, or maybe over at their friend's house because he has a really big TV.

"Oh yeah, Auntie Sue gave me a Lightning t-shirt back in '98," these fans will say. "But they sucked then, and I never wore it. I wonder if I still have it?"

If you are this type of fan and you find yourself surrounded by other "insta-fans" (just add one playoff run and shake), you may find awkward pauses during the actual games, because you actually know jack-ola about the Bolts.

If this is the case, we suggest playing The Official Lightning-Bruins Playoff Drinking Game (not actually official). This will get the beer flowing, make for some chit-chat with the other bandwagon jumpers, and should make for a good night of cheering for a team you've never even actually watched before.

Of course, hardcore and longtime fans can also play, as long as they aren't driving home. Remember, drink yourself into nihilistic oblivion responsibly. And if you're underage or don't drink alcohol, just substitute juice for beer, and see who can hold out the longest without using the bathroom.

The rules are below the jump. And we want your suggestions! More rules mean more drinking.

Star-divide

The rules for The Lightning-Bruins Drinking Game are simple. When you see or hear a "rule in play," take a sip. Advanced players can take a gulp if they choose.

Rule 1: Drink when you hear any reference to Dwayne Roloson's age.

Rule 2: Drink when you hear any reference to Zdeno Chara's size.

Rule 3: Drink when you hear any reference to Martin St. Louis' size.

Rule 4: Drink when you hear Martin St. Louis referred to as the "heart and soul" of the Lightning.

Rule 5: Drink when you hear anything about Vincent Lecavalier's "resurgence."

Rule 6: Drink whenever it's mentioned that St. Louis and Tim Thomas played together at the University of Vermont.

Rule 7: Drink whenever Thomas' goaltending style is described as "unorthodox."

Rule 8: Drink at any mention of Bruins "history" or "tradition."

Rule 9: Drink at any use of the term "Big Bad Bruins."

Rule 10: Drink any time the Bruins perform an act of overt violence that is "not a hockey play."

Rule 11: Drink any time a Bruin checking a Lightning player is shown in replay three or more times.

Rule 12: Drink any time the Lightning "flip the switch" and score a goal, seemingly at will.

Rule 13: Drink whenever an announcer expresses disbelief that Tyler Seguin isn't on the ice for the full sixty minutes.

Rule 14: Drink whenever an announcer mentions that the Bruins are "really missing" Patrice Bergeron.

Rule 15: Drink at any incorrect mention of Roloson or Eric Brewer being acquired in "deadline deals."

We want to hear from you! Give us your rules in the comment section, and make sure you've got a ride home. See you in the gutter!

(Adapted from a post at Frozen Sheets Hockey. Follow @nolanwhyte).

Comment 18 comments  |  1 recs  | 

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If you want to die of alcohol poisoning, take a shot anytime the 1-3-1 is mentioned.

by djstarion on May 16, 2011 11:00 PM EDT reply actions   2 recs

Wow, if you're watching Jack Edwards

#8-11 should have you doing the John Bonham gargle. This game is unsafe!

When the Isles make us drink, we curse Milbury through a monocle and with our pinkies out. Lighthouse Hockey & Chivas-All Class.
Website:Lighthouse Hockey Twitter: @KeithLHHockey

by Keith Quinn on May 16, 2011 11:05 PM EDT reply actions  

If only

Hockey Blog Adventure: New Post: Round 1: NO HABS NO (I'm also on Twitter.) GO BRUINS! (and Wild!)

by Cornelius Hardenbergh on May 17, 2011 9:33 AM EDT up reply actions  

A variation on #8

If you take a shot every time the words “original” and “six” are paired up, you’ll be doing a William Holden impression before the first intermission.

by Clark J Brooks on May 16, 2011 11:16 PM EDT reply actions  

Take a double shot

If Sidney Crosby is somehow inserted into the game conversation among the on-air announcers.

Typing is an adventure, and reading should be, too!
Raw Charge.

by John Fontana on May 16, 2011 11:52 PM EDT reply actions  

Do it again if Crosby is guest announcing.

Typing is an adventure, and reading should be, too!
Raw Charge.

by John Fontana on May 16, 2011 11:53 PM EDT up reply actions  

Have a sobering glass of water

With any freak injuries to either team during play.

Typing is an adventure, and reading should be, too!
Raw Charge.

by John Fontana on May 17, 2011 12:02 AM EDT reply actions  

Take a drink whenever the "OVECH-TRICK!" commercial plays on TV

…even though the Caps have ceased to be relevant to the 2011 postseason.

Shawn Camp earned my dog several beatings back in 2007

by wtbudlight on Aug 30, 2010 5:54 PM PDT

by IntrepidX on May 17, 2011 12:37 AM EDT reply actions  

Drink whenever a commentator mentions Dominic Moore went to Harvard.

by vlac4 on May 17, 2011 7:30 AM EDT reply actions  

Drink whenever the NHL Network says Yzerman was responsible for acquiring all 5 goal-scorers in Game 1. Yep, including Teddy.

"[The Lightning] are uncanny. When they want to get a goal, it's like they just snap their fingers or hit a button. They just dial it up. You can see it. It's like they flip a switch. When they are down, it's just like they think, 'we know we are going to score.' I don't know what it is, it leaves [the opposition] flabbergasted." - Mike Knuble, 3 May 2011

by MTBoltFan on May 17, 2011 8:24 AM EDT reply actions  

Drink whenever an anylist mentions how crucial the shift immediately following a goal or a successful penalty kill is. Oh sorry, that’s EVERY game, not just Bruins-Bolts.

by Clark J Brooks on May 17, 2011 9:00 AM EDT reply actions  

Also, whenever I misspell an easy word like “analyst”

by Clark J Brooks on May 17, 2011 9:01 AM EDT reply actions  

Rec’d!

Win or lose, I'm proud of these guys.
Raw Charge, an SBN Tampa Bay Lightning community. Follow me on Twitter: @dagmar27.

by Cassie McClellan on May 17, 2011 11:34 AM EDT up reply actions  

to go along with this one…Drink whenever someone on the VS crew says something idiotiic (either for or against the team you cheer for, or in general) making wish you could watch the game with your teams regular announcers, instead of these National TV Boneheads

by Dangles-McDonnybrook on May 17, 2011 12:47 PM EDT up reply actions  

Does it count if

you have the Versus feed muted simply because the announcers are horrible?

by In All Kinds of Weather on May 17, 2011 12:48 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

Rec'd

That said, I don’t mind Emerick. It’s Olcyzk I can’t stand. Even Pierre McGuire has good insight every now and then.

"[The Lightning] are uncanny. When they want to get a goal, it's like they just snap their fingers or hit a button. They just dial it up. You can see it. It's like they flip a switch. When they are down, it's just like they think, 'we know we are going to score.' I don't know what it is, it leaves [the opposition] flabbergasted." - Mike Knuble, 3 May 2011

by MTBoltFan on May 17, 2011 4:40 PM EDT up reply actions  

In the spirit of the rule, I’ll take a shot now but I don’t mute to listen to Mishkin, I do it to listen to Espo. Cracks me up constantly. GULP

by Clark J Brooks on May 17, 2011 4:43 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

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