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A slightly Skewered Visitors Guide to Calgary Fans

Paul at Witty Librarian posted on the Usenet a simple FAQ for all those from North of the Border who will be flocking to Tampa to see the Stanley Cup Finals up close (note, this is all humor so try not to be offended :smile ):


1) the really lousy drivers down here in Tampa are actually from New York.

2) for God's Sake, don't bring your bloody useless quarters down here! You keep sticking'em in our vending machines and then we're stuck with coins that can't be exchanged back for American quarters. You're doing that on purpose, aren't you! :mad :evil

3) Please tip well at our strip clubs. They're under a lot of stress lately and they need all the love they can get...

4) Okay, it's the Bucs that are the football guys and the Devil Rays that are the baseball guys. And the Devil Rays, well, if you've seen Montreal then you know what the Rays look like...

5) Clearwater and Treasure Islands across the Bay waters are the good touristy beaches.

6) All the great Greek food is in Tarpon Springs, but don't do Pappas, that's a tourist trap. Try Palatka's, the really great gyros!

7) Yes, there IS a Yeehaw Junction just down the road on State Rd. 60 (uh, about two and a half hours east, but hey it's there!)...

8) There's the Dali art museum in St. Petersburg down near the USF Bayboro campus, there's the Ringling art museum in Sarasota about 45 minutes south of Tampa, and there's the Weeki Wachee mermaid show up US 19 about an hour north of Clearwater...

9) Buy my book! No, wait, shameless plug...

10) The password at Mons Venus is "Buckbeak" Remember that. "Buckbeak"

And if no one has a twisted sense of humor about any of this, well then, whoops...