2012 Stanley Cup Playoff previews: First-round viewing guide

The Stanley Cup Playoffs start tomorrow night, with eight first-round, best-of-seven series. Playoff season is (usually) my favorite season of the year. The intensity, the rivalries, the media falling all over themselves to mythologize someone–anyone, really. In addition, some very good, even great hockey gets played. I try not to miss any of the good stuff, especially further on in the second and third rounds. And when you don’t really have a dog in the fight, so to speak, it’s a little easier to appreciate the funny, the nasty, and the amazing,

But it can be overwhelming to try to catch all the games the first two weeks. And bingeing on hockey tends to be bad for your health, family, and employment situation. It’s important to pace yourself in this early going. I advise choosing one or two series at most in the first round. That’s four to six games a week, after all. The rest you can catch via highlights.

To help you decide what to do with all that free time you have now that the Lightning’s season is over, here’s a handy viewing guide with tips on choosing a series to invest your time in.

Western Conference

Vancouver Canucks v. Los Angeles Kings:

Ever wondered how many times the press can work in the phrase “goalie duel” during a best of seven series? Now’s your chance to find out. The Kings, who ought to have been great but weren’t, have relied on Jonathan Quick all season and he’s been up to the challenge so far. Roberto Luongo and Cory Schneider, if they played in any other market, would be considered a very good tandem with a combined .926 save percentage and 2.25 GAA. Yet the handwringing in British Columbia is audible from across the continent. On the plus side, East Coasters, all the games will start after 10:00 PM. (What do you mean that’s not a plus?)
Series schedule: (all times Eastern)

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 2012	10:30 P.M.	LOS ANGELES AT VANCOUVER	CBC, NBC SPORTS NETWORK
FRIDAY, APRIL 13, 2012	10 P.M.	LOS ANGELES AT VANCOUVER	CBC, NBC SPORTS NETWORK
SUNDAY, APRIL 15, 2012	10:30 P.M.	VANCOUVER AT LOS ANGELES	NBC SPORTS NETWORK, CBC
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 18, 2012	10 P.M.	VANCOUVER AT LOS ANGELES	NBC SPORTS NETWORK, CBC
*SUNDAY, APRIL 22, 2012	TBD	LOS ANGELES AT VANCOUVER	TBD
*TUESDAY, APRIL 24, 2012	TBD	VANCOUVER AT LOS ANGELES	TBD
*THURSDAY, APRIL 26, 2012	TBD	LOS ANGELES AT VANCOUVER	TBD

St. Louis Blues v San Jose Sharks

I searched high and low and scoured every corner of the internet (okay, I read a couple of previews) in search of a compelling storyline heading into this series. I really couldn’t find one. Don’t get me wrong, there are storylines–the play of Jaroslav Halak and Brian Elliott, Ken Hitchcock’s behind-the-bench performance, the fact that the Sharks really should have dominated the Western Conference this season, Brent Burns‘ robotic sex pants. Those stories just aren’t compelling enough to get me to watch seven games of this…. Well, maybe the sex pants thing. I considered the fact you could use this as an excuse to read Megalodon’s fantastic game previews at SBNation’s Battle of California, but then I realized that I read them all the time and never actually watch Sharks games. St. Louis’s defense is going to shut down San Jose’s sporadic offense, and put everyone to sleep.
Series schedule

THURSDAY, APRIL 12, 2012	7:30 P.M.	SAN JOSE AT ST. LOUIS	CNBC, TSN
SATURDAY, APRIL 14, 2012	7:30 P.M.	SAN JOSE AT ST. LOUIS	CNBC, TSN
MONDAY, APRIL 16, 2012	10 P.M.	ST. LOUIS AT SAN JOSE	NBC SPORTS NETWORK, TSN
THURSDAY, APRIL 19, 2012	10:30 P.M.	ST. LOUIS AT SAN JOSE	NBC SPORTS NETWORK, TSN
*SATURDAY, APRIL 21, 2012	7:30 P.M.	SAN JOSE AT ST. LOUIS	CNBC, TSN
*MONDAY, APRIL 23, 2012	TBD	ST. LOUIS AT SAN JOSE	TBD
*WEDNESDAY, APRIL 25, 2012	TBD	SAN JOSE AT ST. LOUIS	TBD

Phoenix Coyotes vs Chicago Blackhawks

It will be interesting to watch the broadcast crew ignore the empty arena in Glendale while every other commentator in the known universe talks about nothing but the empty arena in Glendale. The games are also on after pretty much every game you’re interested in is done, but before you actually fall asleep. And, as a Lightning fan, you can watch Mike Smith either perform fantastically or completely blow up, and adjust your sense of regret accordingly. The media’s going to focus on the fact that the Coyotes’ three leading scorers average about 103 years of age while the Blackhawks only have 6 guys over age 30 on the team.
Series schedule

THURSDAY, APRIL 12, 2012	10 P.M.	CHICAGO AT PHOENIX	NBC SPORTS NETWORK, TSN
SATURDAY, APRIL 14, 2012	10 P.M.	CHICAGO AT PHOENIX	NBC SPORTS NETWORK, TSN
TUESDAY, APRIL 17, 2012	9 P.M.	PHOENIX AT CHICAGO	CNBC, TSN
THURSDAY, APRIL 19, 2012	8 P.M.	PHOENIX AT CHICAGO	CNBC, TSN
*SATURDAY, APRIL 21, 2012	10 P.M.	CHICAGO AT PHOENIX	NBC SPORTS NETWORK, TSN
*MONDAY, APRIL 23, 2012	TBD	PHOENIX AT CHICAGO	TBD
*WEDNESDAY, APRIL 25, 2012	TBD	CHICAGO AT PHOENIX	TBD

Nashville Predators vs Detroit Red Wings

I call this one the Battle of the Seafood. Watch to see whether anyone succeeds in getting a catfish onto the ice at Joe Louis Arena. It’s a foregone conclusion that there will be at least one octopus tossed in Nashville. Let’s just hope that the geniuses who do this use lots and lots of plastic wrap before stuffing those things in their pants to get through security. This is going to be a hard-fought series pitting the veteran but wily Red Wings against the young and enthusiastic Predators and it really could go either way. Both teams have great arena atmosphere and the teams know each other very well. Both teams will need to be perfect to win and it will be exhausting. Also, whether Nashville wins or loses, if it gets to a Game 7, Music City will destroy itself from the inside. That’s always fun.
Series schedule

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 2012	8 P.M.	DETROIT AT NASHVILLE	CNBC, CBC
FRIDAY, APRIL 13, 2012	7:30 P.M.	DETROIT AT NASHVILLE	CNBC, CBC
SUNDAY, APRIL 15, 2012	NOON	NASHVILLE AT DETROIT	NBC, CBC
TUESDAY, APRIL 17, 2012	7:30 P.M.	NASHVILLE AT DETROIT	NBC SPORTS NETWORK, CBC
*FRIDAY, APRIL 20, 2012	8 P.M.	DETROIT AT NASHVILLE	CNBC, CBC
*SUNDAY, APRIL 22, 2012	TBD	NASHVILLE AT DETROIT	TBD
*TUESDAY, APRIL 24, 2012	TBD	DETROIT AT NASHVILLE	TBD

Eastern Conference

New York Rangers vs Ottawa Senators

Before these last few weeks, I would have said that the Rangers were essentially getting a bye no matter who ended up in eighth place. But they haven’t done so hot since I jumped on the “Hank makes pie” bandwagon, and doubt has to be creeping in. As Lightning fans, I know you’re watching mostly because of John Tortorella and Brad Richards, and possibly because Hank makes pie (and also stops a few pucks every once in a while), but keep an eye on that Erik Karlsson kid from Ottawa. I hear he’s pretty good at the hockey. Has nice hair, too. There will be a lot of talk during this series about Karlsson possibly winning the Norris trophy for best defenseman this year. He shouldn’t, but there’ll be a lot of talk about it.
Series schedule

THURSDAY, APRIL 12, 2012	7 P.M.	OTTAWA AT NY RANGERS	NHL NETWORK, CBC
SATURDAY, APRIL 14, 2012	7 P.M.	OTTAWA AT NY RANGERS	NBC SPORTS NETWORK, CBC
MONDAY, APRIL 16, 2012	7:30 P.M.	NY RANGERS AT OTTAWA	CBC, CNBC
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 18, 2012	7:30 P.M.	NY RANGERS AT OTTAWA	CBC, CNBC
*SATURDAY, APRIL 21, 2012	7 P.M.	OTTAWA AT NY RANGERS	NBC SPORTS NETWORK, CBC
*MONDAY, APRIL 23, 2012	TBD	NY RANGERS AT OTTAWA	TBD
*THURSDAY, APRIL 26, 2012	TBD	OTTAWA AT NY RANGERS	TBD

Boston Bruins vs Washington Capitals

No series other than the Battle of Pennsylvania has more potential for Dramaaaaa than this one. There will be political commentary, incessant questions about whether the incessant questions about the political commentary are distracting, and excruciatingly detailed analyses of the level of caring of various Russian players. There will also be dirty, dirty plays. It’s a series where you can cheer for every goof-up, humiliation, and minor setback suffered by either team and do so with a clear conscience and happy heart.
Series schedule

THURSDAY, APRIL 12, 2012	7:30 P.M.	WASHINGTON AT BOSTON	NBC SPORTS NETWORK, CBC
SATURDAY, APRIL 14, 2012	3 P.M.	WASHINGTON AT BOSTON	NBC, CBC
MONDAY, APRIL 16, 2012	7:30 P.M.	BOSTON AT WASHINGTON	NBC SPORTS NETWORK, CBC
THURSDAY, APRIL 19, 2012	7:30 P.M.	BOSTON AT WASHINGTON	NBC SPORTS NETWORK, CBC
*SATURDAY, APRIL 21, 2012	3 P.M.	WASHINGTON AT BOSTON	NBC, CBC
*SUNDAY, APRIL 22, 2012	TBD	BOSTON AT WASHINGTON	TBD
*WEDNESDAY, APRIL 25, 2012	TBD	WASHINGTON AT BOSTON	TBD

Florida Panthers vs New Jersey Devils

Our in-state rivals are carrying the Florida hockey banner for the first time in far too long. It’s really exciting for the fans at Litter Box Cats, and I like those guys enough to want them to do well. I just don’t really, in my heart of hearts, think they will. They’ll hit hard (seriously, Erik Gudbranson scares me) and they’ll hang on by their fingernails, but I don’t think this team actually has all the pieces yet. Meanwhile, the Devils are going to try to bore the Panthers to death. Other than to support Panther fans, the only reason I could come up with to watch is to try to catch one of Jerred Smithson’s facial expressions. Not enough to keep me tuned in, I’m afraid.
Series Schedule

FRIDAY, APRIL 13, 2012	7 P.M.	NEW JERSEY AT FLORIDA	NHL NETWORK, TSN
SUNDAY, APRIL 15, 2012	7:30 P.M.	NEW JERSEY AT FLORIDA	NBC SPORTS NETWORK, TSN
TUESDAY, APRIL 17, 2012	7 P.M.	FLORIDA AT NEW JERSEY	NHL NETWORK, TSN
THURSDAY, APRIL 19, 2012	7 P.M.	FLORIDA AT NEW JERSEY	NHL NETWORK, TSN
*SATURDAY, APRIL 21, 2012	6:30 P.M.	NEW JERSEY AT FLORIDA	NHL NETWORK, TSN
*TUESDAY, APRIL 24, 2012	TBD	FLORIDA AT NEW JERSEY	TBD
*THURSDAY, APRIL 26, 2012	TBD	NEW JERSEY AT FLORIDA	TBD

Pittsburgh Penguins vx Philadelphia Flyers

The only series where actual murder on the ice is a real possibility. Honestly, unless you’re a fan of one of these teams, there’s no real need to tune into the games live. Every hit, penalty, scrum, goal, and chirp will be immediately and thoroughly dissected on every available media format. Just keep checking Twitter and you won’t miss anything, interesting or not.
Series schedule

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 2012	7:30 P.M.	PHILADELPHIA AT PITTSBURGH	NBC SPORTS NETWORK, TSN
FRIDAY, APRIL 13, 2012	7:30 P.M.	PHILADELPHIA AT PITTSBURGH	NBC SPORTS NETWORK, TSN
SUNDAY, APRIL 15, 2012	3 P.M.	PITTSBURGH AT PHILADELPHIA	NBC, TSN
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 18, 2012	7:30 P.M.	PITTSBURGH AT PHILADELPHIA	NBC SPORTS NETWORK, TSN
*FRIDAY, APRIL 20, 2012	7:30 P.M.	PHILADELPHIA AT PITTSBURGH	NBC SPORTS NETWORK, TSN
*SUNDAY, APRIL 22, 2012	TBD	PITTSBURGH AT PHILADELPHIA	TBD
*TUESDAY, APRIL 24, 2012	TBD	PHILADELPHIA AT PITTSBURGH	TBD