I’m here on behalf of The Daily Stampede, the Internet’s #1 source of USF Bulls news . With football over, our women’s basketball team destroyed by injuries, and recruiting mostly wrapped up, there isn’t too much happening on the USF beat right now. So we spend a lot of time talking about other stuff in our Slack channel.
The one thing that gets all of us talking is the Lightning. We’re all watching the games together on TV or in the arena, and yesterday we spent a solid hour talking about the Seattle expansion draft and how big a contract Brayden Point should get. Then we had a crazy idea: Hey, Raw Charge is looking for a site manager... why don’t we run that site, too?
Now, before you all laugh us out of here, let us present our credentials:
- The Daily Stampede has been around since 2010, and only on two or three occasions has USF’s constant ineptitude and failure made us want to quit.
- Much like the Lightning, TDS is considered a model for success in a non-traditional market.
- Much like the Lightning, Jeff Vinik has a ton of money invested in USF. We love him as much as you do.
- We have a lot of bodies to throw at this thing.
- We’ve been credentialed for USF events since 2014 and we have yet to do or say anything to get them revoked.
- You want a podcast? Oh, we’ve got a podcast. Entertaining? Yes! Production value? High! Knowledgable? Most of the time! Guests? Sometimes! Organized? Barely! Family friendly? No way! The Bulluminati Podcast is sort of like sitting in the VIP section for a train wreck. We can bring that same endearing "quality" to you, the Raw Charge community.
- We are highly fluent in Internet speak, memes, and troll tactics.
Clearly we know how to run a blog... but do we have what it takes to run a hockey blog? Consider this:
- We’re already watching all the games, even the ones on the West Coast.
- Alex Killorn once threw ice at our current site manager, Nathan Bond, during a stoppage in play.
- In addition, Nate’s understanding of trades in NHL video games is second to none. He’s already a better GM than Rick Dudley.
- And I took the Lightning to the Cup in NHL 94 with the offside turned on. Take that, Sue!
- One of our Slack members lives in Toronto and can keep us apprised of all Leafs-related slander and backhanded compliments from the Canadian media.
- Between us, we have won several fantasy hockey leagues.
- We are big on process and advanced stats. OK, we can’t make heads or tails out of Corsi and Fenwick right now, and isn’t PDO that chicken place on Dale Mabry? Anyway, give us a few months and we’ll have it down cold.
But really, beyond all of that, the real reason you should let us run this site is not for yourselves. Do it for us. We've covered a school that's been run more or less incompetently since the ribbon cutting. Please let us cover a team that wins and brings us joy for the first time ever. You’ve seen how much fun and entertainment we can get out of a team that is doomed to never win anything. Imagine what we could do with the Lightning! Hilarious memes. Trash talk for days. A livecast from the Stanley Cup victory parade where most of us would be very drunk. It would be the greatest summer of our lives, and yours too.
Sound good? You know where to find us. We are standing by for your call.
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