Dear Mr. Yzerman,
As fans of the Tampa Bay Lightning, it has become clear to us that when it comes to matters regarding a new contract for Steven Stamkos, you’re simply not trying. Let’s be honest, negotiating contracts with budding young superstars is probably the easiest thing on the planet, and the salary cap situation you were left with by Brian Lawton was absolutely perfect. So it’s pretty clear that the effort is just not there on your part.
In fact, your lack of effort has probably already given away our chance to sign him. Even though the Lightning have like three more days to sign him before any other team can even throw an offer at him, and the Bolts have the right to match those offers, it’s become pretty clear from all the tweets and articles from reliable Canadian sports personalities that Stamkos is going to Toronto. Or Philly. Or to the moon. Even Eklund says that Stamkos has the upper hand here, and we all know that that guy is never wrong.
Mr. Yzerman, you can’t let this happen. We’ve been through this thing before – losing a stud, fan favorite center to another team – with Brad Richards, and I don’t have to tell you that if it happens again now, the Lightning will never, ever, ever, ever, ever get close to playing for the Stanley Cup again. Ever.
So get off of this website and get on the horn with Mr. Meehan. Now. Even though every move you’ve made so far has been perfect and timely, and everything you touch turns to gold, we don’t trust you because, just like everything else with this organization, the fans expected this deal done ten minutes ago.
Signed,
Those Ready to Jump off the Skyway Bridge
P.S. While you’re at it, make sure to throw some money at Tomas Vokoun. Even though he’s on the wrong side of 30, if we sign him, we’ll win the Stanley Cup for sure. With or without Stamkos.
P.P.S. If it really comes down to it, you could always trade Vinny away to have the money to give Stamkos whatever he wants. Because if there’s one rule to live by in Tampa, it’s that ‘I’ always comes before ‘we.’
